Estrangement - Part IILittle babygirl, born 3 weeks premature.
So fragile with a cleft in her chin.
Father freaking out,
afraid she wouldnít then be pretty enough.
Thatís what he first thought
after she was brought into this world.
Not how she just survived a traumatic birth,
but rather how pretty would she be.
Raced up and down the street
grabbing and thumbing through magazines
fast as he could.
for a gorgeous woman
with a cleft in her chin.
He didnít rest till he found one.
For surely he couldnít be doomed to have
a daughter who wasnít a pretty lil thing.
From the very first breath
It was all about him.
Wonder how much he felt like shit
When he wasnít watching me when he
and I fell right outta my highchair
biting right through my bottom lip.
Scarring my face for life.
Silly me, probably didnít phase him 1 bit.
I nearly forgot,
Nothing is ever his fault.
Enough times circling the same
Iíve vented a bit too much in all this
And I finally see youíre nuts.
Realize it or not,
your playing some fucking game.
Parents or not,
You fuckers are beyond insane.
Now I understand why
When I was locked up
The nurses would limit your visits
Coaching me prior to your arrival
Stressing I could bail out at anytime.
Took me years to figure you out
But now I understand the game plan.
Youíve always wanted pieces of me
That arenít for you to take.
But now thatís under my control
and I can see.
Sight from within sets one free.
By Mara McWilliams